Shock, but without the Horror!

Whenever you hear people talking about a film, it's not uncommon to want to see it yourself in order to see what everyone is talking about. In most cases, this often happens when people talk about how good a film is. This week however, I watched a film because of people saying how disgusting, sick, and downright wrong it is. And I'm glad I did.

If you're wondering what film it was I watched this week, it was Dirty Sanchez: The Movie. For those of you who haven't heard of it, it's similar to Jackass, in that it is the movie of a TV show in which a group of people do completely outrageous and dangerous stunts for the entertainment of each other, and the audience at home. Although the scenario is similar, Dirty Sanchez makes Jackass look like children's TV, as it takes things to the extreme, and then caries on going.

Basically the film contains, to name but a few, tattoos in painful places, the consumption of what remains after a liposuction operation, and as if that wasn't enough, Keith Richards as Satan! It is possibly the sickest most disgusting film I have ever seen, and I lost count of how many times it made me cringe. . . . Which is why I loved watching it!

First, let me explain that not everything they do is dangerous or disgusting, some is just immature. For instance, whilst asleep, Pancho is given something of a make over to make him resemble both the Incredible Hulk, and then Mikhail Gorbachev. Silly and immature, but still on the level of something that could be done to anyone whilst asleep. Others however, such as the Beer enema are of an acquired taste.

And this is the reason I loved watching it. Most horror films are lucky if they make me jump, I watched The Exorcist when I was seventeen and wondered what all the fuss was about, and I've been bored watching banned so called 'video nasties'.

Because of my apparent 'immunity' to films that most people wouldn't consider watching, it takes something on the level of Dirty Sanchez to get a reaction from me. For most people, an important part of watching a film is for the different reactions that they can evoke, both good and bad. There are times I have envied people who watch horror films for the purpose of cringing from what they see on the screen, but I think I have finally been able to get a better idea of what it must be like.

Admittedly the fact that what they do is real, completely non-fictional and without the use of special effects helps with the cringe factor, but also because you can't actually believe they are doing some of the things they do. Despite the 'do not try this at home' warning, most people wouldn't try these things simply because of the amount of guts that these stunts need. I must admit that watching a fully grown man mortified if spiders, who cuts of the end of his finger to regain his pride, is actually quite humbling.

I know I wouldn't be able to.

Did my Harry Potter wish come true?

Having sold just over 100 copies of The Deathly Hallows in half an hour, I went straight to a book to see what happens in the end, and if what I wanted to happen happened.

Without spoiling it for anyone else, I shall only say this.

Page 567!!

Harry Potter and the Ranting Blog

Having just come back from the cinema, I am writing this post sandwiched between two things of which I still can't understand the amount of significance placed upon them.

The film I have just seen is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and tomorrow night, I shall be working at midnight for the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows release. For some reason, people seem to go mad over Harry Potter, but still haven't worked out why.

I've got nothing against Harry Potter, I've enjoyed the films and the one book I have read, but don't see anything special in them. It's not as if JK Rowling is the only fantasy author out there, indeed one of my main reasons for liking the films is the recognition of recurring ideas seen through various fantasy literature, but I'd still much rather watch and/or read something by Stephen King or Clive Barker.

So with the imminent approach of the seventh and final book there are a few things that I would like to see happen. Mainly, Harry should die. This is nothing personal, I just think that the whole franchise would be better off were this to happen.

Firstly, it dramatically reduces the likelihood of someone else drawing upon and adding to Rowling's stories. And by 'someone else' read 'Warner Brother exuctives', likewise 'adding to' with 'completely ruining'. By killing off Harry, Rowling can hopefully avoid her work being spoilt for herself and her fans everywhere. If you think more Harry Potter adventures can only be a good thing, then you need to read my previous rantings about disasterous sequels.

Secondly, Harry should die because the other stories are just too soppy. Anyone who knows me will most likely know that I'm not exactly the biggest fan of anything that can be considered 'cute', and this includes cliched happy endings, especially those that only happen for the simple reason of just because. It's not that I have the emotional range of a teaspoon, it's just that there are so many stories that have happy endings just for the sake of it, and often ruin an up til then fairly decent film.

Without giving too much away, a good example of this is The Butterfly Effect. When I first saw the theatrical version, I thought it had a good ending that fit in with the rest of the story, but still seemed a little lacking. And what it was lacking, was for the studio executives to let the directors do what they do best, and not force a happy ending on the film in order to play it safe. Having seen the directors cut, I now consider The Butterfly Effect to be one of my favourite films, simply because the filmmakers made the right choice about how the film should end, unlike the studio executives who only care about getting bums on seats, and for some reason seem to think that people should be smiling when the credits roll.

Order of the Phoenix had a great climax at the end of the film, but the whole lovey dovey resolution just spoilt it for me. And yes I know it's a childrens story, but that's not an exuse. In fact that's even more reason why Harry Potter should die.

Teenagers dont get upset and moody because of hormones, they get upset and moody because they've grown up with all these promises of fairy tale happy endings, and then real life taps them on the shoulder and says 'you know how the hero always triumphs over evil, saves the day and gets the girl? Well actually . . . '

I'm not saying life is all doom and gloom, it's just not all happy endings either. If it was, studio executives wouldn't shove their 'creative' sides where they don't belong. Like The Butterfly Effect 2.

The Graduate

No, not Dustin Hoffman. Me!

Last week I went back to Aberystwyth for my graduation ceremony, and am now officially a Bachelor of Arts.

It was a really great time for all of us to meet up again and celebrate three years of hard work. Well . . . occasionally challenging work spread out intermittently over the last three years.

The main ceremony took place in the Aberystwyth arts centre, a great venue which normally presents both local and professional productions, and is very conveniently located right in the middle of the University of Wales, Aberstwyth main campus.

The whole thing was rather more formal than I was expecting, and being Aberystwyth, and more than a little Welsh. Although the speeches were in both Welsh and English, we couldn't understand what the Vice Chancellor said to us as we were presented to him, there was a musical interlude with a harp, and even one group on stage consisting entirely of Jones's!

Although I had never met the Vice Chancellor before (he may have given speeches during freshers week, but that is now mainly a blur to me), I had met the Sub-dean of the faculty of arts, who read out our names as we were being presented, several times. Mainly as he had given several lectures I had attended (my favourite of which was entitled "Science Fiction. Well . . Doctor Who"), and was also my dissertation supervisor.

The rest of the week was also a great time to meet up with friends again, before getting the worst train (and coach, and taxi) journey I've ever had home, and then straight back to work. So I'm now pretty much where I was four years ago, only having spent £12,000 on six letters and two brackets.

BA (hons)

Tag, I'm it

Having been tagged by three people (even though Kate tagged everyone, which is probably cheating) I now apparently have to reveal 8 random facts about myself. As many of my friends often describe me as a random person, this could be very random indeed.

Random squared, one could say. So here goes.

1. My favourite Subway sandwich is Ham and Turkey on Italian herb and cheese, not toasted, with extra cheese, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, gherkin (or pickle, as they insist on calling it), with either barbecue or ranch sauce.

2. I once used the numbers 4 8 15 16 23 42 on the lottery. I didn't win anything.

3. The only email I ever had from my personal tutor at university read "Email Mikel Koven." Mikel Koven was indeed very helpful.

4. I have seen three films from the so called 'Video Nasty' list. The Evil Dead is too slapstick to be taken seriously and I got bored watching The Last House On The Left and The House On The Edge Of The Park. I subsequently don't consider any of them to be nasty.

5. In sixth form drama lessons, my group and I used to quote I'm Alan Partridge to each other. Abso-Bloody-Exactly!!

6. The album I am listening to at the moment (when I say at the moment, I mean at the time of my writing, not whenever you are reading this) is the Life On Mars soundtrack.

7. One of my favourite facts is that the elephant is the only animal to have four knees.

8. My earliest memory is of having my brother's friend's family argue over who will feed me fish fingers. I have no idea why I remember that.

Fairly random, I think you'll agree, but since the only people I know who have blogs are the ones who tagged me, I can't really tag anyone else myself. Unless Mum, Kate and Deb can think of another eight random facts???

Blood and Popcorn

WARNING, MAY CONTAIN UNPOPULAR OPINIONS. . .

As a big fan of horror movies, I am regularly aware of those people who worry about us, thinking that we must be sick in the head in some fashion. I am particularly aware of this, as I still live with one of them. Whilst there are those far worse than my mum, when watching Saw II, she still had to ask if I actually found it entertaining. Although to be fair to her, she did wait until at least five minutes into the film before asking.

The scene in question was of a man who, having been kidnapped and sedated, now found himself in a situation in which he must cut out his own eye in order to survive. Anyone who has seen the entirety of the film will be able to confirm that, despite large amounts of on screen blood, it is not merely mindless violence, but can in fact be seen as mindful violence. 'Jigsaw', the 'killer' of the film places his victims in a situation from which they have every means of escape. Rather than simply killing them, he does what he does as he believes that knowledge of death will help them appreciate the lives they could lead, in a sort of 'life is wasted on the living' kind of way.

In a similar way to Se7en, it is not the violence, but the villains rationalisation for their actions that is the scariest part, particularly when they begin to sway you to understanding their point of view. Anyone who walked out half way through and missed the ending however, wouldn't fully have seen this. (I'm not mentioning names . . . )

Yes, people die in horrible ways, and I have to admit that yes, I found it entertaining, but when criticizing films like these, many people forget two things. Firstly, despite various technological advances the human race has made, we still have a long way to go before becoming advanced ourselves. Evolutionarily speaking, we are still just apes for whom violence and the seven deadly sins make up a large part of who we are. Secondly, there are far worse things than special effects that people consider to be 'entertaining'.

Working in my local WH Smiths, I have come to notice that the best selling magazines are most probably the 'Granny Mags'. The cheap weekly magazines in which members of the public have sold their stories and pictures of events that have happened in their own lives. Events like rape, violence, and murder. Basically anything less than a stabbing would just be a footnote in the corner. As one magazine proudly boasts, "Life! Death! Prizes!" The only reason I can assume people buy these are because life, death and prizes are entertaining.

Likewise with books. Our biography section has now been split into two equal halves, the traditional biographies of the rich and famous (the majority of whom should be neither), now have to be crammed into exactly the same shelving space as the 'tragic life stories'. Put simply, we now sell more books about people who had abused childhoods, than those who have actually done something positive worth reading about.

If that sounds offensive to abused children, its not meant to be and I apologise. I'm merely trying to point out that many of the people who will happily blame fictional movies for so many bad things in the world, are the same ones who are equally as happy to spend money reading about those things they are blaming the movies for.

If you think that watching movies in which people die in horrible circumstances make people like me sick in the head, then that's your opinion and you are of course entitled to it. It is absolutely wrong, but you are still entitled to it.

Given the choice of fictional pretend violence, or real life parents abusing their own children, I know which one I'd rather spend my money on.

Doctor WTF??

WARNING, MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS . . .

Yesterday I watched the final episode of season 3 (29 if you're being picky, 34 if you're really picky) of Doctor Who.

Yesterday was also the first time I have been really disappointed by the series.

When the season first started, I have to admit I didn't think it was as good as what had come before it. 'The Shakespeare Code' seemed more like it was trying to jump on the Harry Potter bandwagon than celebrate a famous historical figure, and having the shows most loved enemy in an average story in 'Daleks In Manhattan'/'Evolution Of The Daleks' did seem a tad wasteful. Minor quibbles aside, it was still essential Saturday night viewing.

And then came the second half of the season, which was fantastic. 'Human Nature'/'The Family of Blood' gave us a real insight into the Doctors character, as well as showing off David Tennant's talent. 'Blink' was everything Doctor Who should be, funny, dramatic, and taking full advantage of the "big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff".

'Utopia' was a great introduction for the season finale, and although the Master's appearance didn't come as the biggest surprise to me (it happens if you discuss rumours on the internet), I still thought it was well conceived, and a great cliffhanger leading to 'The Sound Of Drums', quite possibly one of my favourite episodes of Doctor Who ever. Not only was John Simm perfect as the Master, bringing the right elements of humour to the role without overdoing it and still keeping his aura of absolute evil, but the tension between him and the Doctor was great, as were the glimpses of Gallifrey itself. But 'The Last Of The Time Lords' just tended to spoil things for me.

Maybe the end of season hype and greatness of 'The Sound Of Drums' just gave me unrealistic expectations for the finale, but it was probably more that I, never in five trillion years, would have expected Russel T Davies to turn the Doctor into Dobby, The House Elf!! Bandwagon jumping again, perhaps??

Right from the start we are told that it is now "One year later", which just gave me the impression I might have been watching Battlestar Gallactica by mistake. Whilst spreading the word of the Doctor was certainly a different way of saving the world, and hailing a big cheer from pacifists everywhere, it still seems like a bit of a cop out and certainly far fetched. Almost as far fetched as the result of everyone in the world chanting his name would magically transform him to exactly how he looked before (including wearing the clothes he had previously grown too small for), and being able to levitate, unaffected by laser fire, whilst at the same time bask in an all glowing aura.

Basically, everything up to "I forgive you" could have done with a few rewrites. And then a few more, but luckily things seemed to pick up afterwards. The Doctors crying at the death of his arch-nemesis was a great touch (even though he was probably crying because it meant he was the last of his kind. Again.), and the funeral pyre was blatantly a Return Of The Jedi rip-off. The picking up of the ring was a nice way to explain how the Master might come back again, rather than going with the traditional magically reappearing with no logical explanation, which normally happens.

And Captain Jack Harkness as the Face Of Boe?? Nice idea, but does beg the question of how he goes from bi-pedal human to big head in a jar in a matter of 198,000 years, whilst spending the next 5 billion(ish) years unchanged. And it does make you wonder how far in advance they planned it all. Even if they haven't answered the dangling cause of his missing memories, but they're probably just saving that for Torchwood.

Which leaves us with the Titanic. Somehow creating an enormous hole in the interior of the TARDIS twice the size of the exterior, unless of course the chameleon circuit just happened to fix itself and disguise the TARDIS as an iceberg. And are the producers planning another multi-Doctor story, or have they forgotten that the Doctor has been there and then before?

Russel T Davies, please let Steven Moffat write next years finale. PLEASE!!!!